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Mourning Pieces (V)

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Jan. 30th, 2012 | 08:33 pm

At the wake, I hide in the single-stall Ladies, looking at my father’s rings in hideous dim yellow florescent light. A gold nugget pattern. A horribly tacky embossed eagle in flight. The third has a diagonal band of diamond chips, probably less than a quarter-carat (looking with my dad’s pawnbroker eyes) but real. Why wear fake when real sells for what it melts for? I hold it up to the light, looking for the flash of orange that real diamonds never have, that tells a CZ before you even weigh it, before you look at the customer, “Sorry,” and send them away without five dollars for smokes, ten for gas or dinner for the kids. I want it to be the wrong ring, something fake that wasn’t his, a terrible mistake that’s been made, and the wake goes on without me while I wait in the bathroom, looking for the flash.




Mourning Pieces I
Mourning Pieces II
Mourning Pieces III
Mourning Pieces IV

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Comments {17}

A Karmic Sandbox

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from: karmasoup
date: Jan. 31st, 2012 07:44 pm (UTC)
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Sometimes you just need to duck away from people's sympathetic eyes, and their unspoken expectations. It's good to have an excuse. And a good hiding place.

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createdestiny

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from: createdestiny
date: Feb. 1st, 2012 02:54 am (UTC)
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I am so sorry for your loss. This entry is beautiful in its brokenness.....

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whipchick

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from: whipchick
date: Feb. 6th, 2012 02:15 am (UTC)
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Thank you.

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Myrna

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from: myrna_bird
date: Feb. 1st, 2012 04:01 pm (UTC)
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All five pieces connect so well to give insight into the feelings of abandonment and betrayal you must have felt and the helplessness to control any of it.

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whipchick

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from: whipchick
date: Feb. 6th, 2012 02:15 am (UTC)
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Thanks - I'm glad I can make words out of it.

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Andrea Blythe

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from: blythe025
date: Feb. 2nd, 2012 12:59 am (UTC)
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Somehow this one hit me more on the second read. It reveals so much, while also leaving space for interpretation.

I could be wrong, but as an outsider, the last sentence feels very symbolic -- "the terrible mistake" would relate to a desire for the death to be a mistake, "waiting for the flash" is similar to the way many people in mourning hope for some sign that it's not real, the proof that their loved one is still there. It's a powerful symbol that way, even if you didn't intend it (though you're a great writer, so I suspect you probably did).

So that's it for my comments, except to say that I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs.

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whipchick

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from: whipchick
date: Feb. 6th, 2012 02:16 am (UTC)
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Thanks :) And yes - I totally meant it that way, and I'm glad it comes across :)

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basric

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from: basric
date: Feb. 2nd, 2012 01:19 am (UTC)
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I truly love the way you presented you entry. I love the entry, Well done as expected from you,

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whipchick

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from: whipchick
date: Feb. 6th, 2012 02:17 am (UTC)
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Thanks - I really appreciate your praise, and I can tell you're a no-nonsense person, so I'm glad you felt this was a good read.

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Dan

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from: muchtooarrogant
date: Feb. 2nd, 2012 02:16 am (UTC)
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First, my sincere condolences!

All your pieces connect together very well--I read them in order, although I think you're right, and it doesn't matter. Well written, as always.

Dan

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whipchick

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from: whipchick
date: Feb. 6th, 2012 02:17 am (UTC)
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Thanks on all counts :)

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baxaphobia

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from: baxaphobia
date: Feb. 2nd, 2012 07:20 pm (UTC)
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These snippets of your grief are so sad and so beautiful. I am sorry for your loss.

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whipchick

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from: whipchick
date: Feb. 6th, 2012 02:17 am (UTC)
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Thank you, and thank you for reading.

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the key of the day and the lock of the night

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from: locknkey
date: Feb. 2nd, 2012 08:58 pm (UTC)
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AS always your writing is powerful. I think this especially becasue it reads (to me) as so raw.

My father was verbally abusive and often tried to make up things to me with money, so 1 & 3 particularly resonated for me.

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whipchick

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from: whipchick
date: Feb. 6th, 2012 02:18 am (UTC)
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Thanks - and I'm sorry you had that situation. It's a tough one, and as terrible as it is, I can only hope it's made us stronger adults--who also will try not to repeat the pattern.

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java_fiend

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from: java_fiend
date: Feb. 3rd, 2012 01:09 am (UTC)
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The fragmenting of the pieces like this somehow makes it stronger, more powerful. (plus it's a really cool way to take on the prompt, I thought) But you really show us, in different flashes, what you were really feeling. Your words are beautiful and powerful. You make us ache for you and with you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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whipchick

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from: whipchick
date: Feb. 6th, 2012 02:18 am (UTC)
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Thanks - and I'm glad it worked as writing :)

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