?

Log in

No account? Create an account

everywordiwrite

« previous entry | next entry »
May. 7th, 2013 | 03:23 pm

She is in England, and I am in Africa,
Yanks—yanked out of water, immersed
in warmth, immersed in cold, our love
taking the shape of the shore we meet.

Between us, ten thousand tiny filaments
silver-sparkling, flying fish swimming under water
holding each other’s breath. We sit at our pages and bleed.
Buccaneer pens razor-sharp, we slash the legend of our voyage
on our lovers’ hearts. Our boldness looks like bravery.
To our guides, our hosts (in-laws!) we are neither fish
nor fowl, yet winged, yet flashing, yet flopping airless on the deck.

Strange constellations—stars and shadows can’t be seen by,
we light a candle. We are the candle
spreading light, the mirror that reflects each passing moment.
The food we cannot get. This hat—that word—that gesture’s wrong.
Our ties severed with the sharp edge of a one-way ticket,
we do ‘the washing-up.’ We marvel:
tiny appliances, fresh bread, brown eggs
kept on the counter. The bright flash
of foreign racism. How looking on is stepping back,
accepting fate without a shot—no revolutionaries we,
daring only to be happy.

Her phone rings—it isn’t me. And yet
the voice that says, the dread is coming,
her voice that questions, are you safe?
It is I who asks her, help me. It is she who answers, yes.

____________________________________
With affection for, and apologies to, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Zora Neale Hurston, Gertrude Stein, Mark Twain and Edith Wharton.



Link | Leave a comment | Share

Comments {48}

Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>

similiesslip

(no subject)

from: similiesslip
date: May. 7th, 2013 08:18 pm (UTC)
Link

Wow. Why are you such a great writer in EVERY genre? :)

I especially like this part:

"Between us, ten thousand tiny filaments
silver-sparkling, flying fish swimming under water
holding each other’s breath. We sit at our pages and bleed.
Buccaneer pens razor-sharp, we slash the legend of our voyage
on our lovers’ hearts."

I really love how you pointed out your similarities, differences, and what binds you both together.

Reply | Thread

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 7th, 2013 10:53 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you, very much :) It's been awhile since I've written poetry, but everywordiwrite wrote a really good one last week, so I was inspired!

Reply | Parent | Thread

medleymisty

(no subject)

from: medleymisty
date: May. 7th, 2013 09:48 pm (UTC)
Link

I missed reading your style. And this has you all over it. :)

Is happy great poem, yay! ;)

Reply | Thread

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 7th, 2013 10:53 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you! I'm excited to be writing more than "blog posts" again!

Reply | Parent | Thread

Holly

(no subject)

from: minnesattva
date: May. 7th, 2013 10:35 pm (UTC)
Link

This makes me happy and sad and comforted and aching all at once. I'm bookmarking it because I know I'll need it later.

Reply | Thread

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 7th, 2013 10:55 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you so much :)

I thought of you, too, when writing, fellow Yankee :)

Reply | Parent | Thread | Expand

Vice Captain of the Universe

(no subject)

from: sweeny_todd
date: May. 8th, 2013 05:52 am (UTC)
Link

this has some beautiful imagery! a beautiful poem for a beautiful poet

Reply | Thread

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 11th, 2013 07:40 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you, and she is, isn't she :)

Reply | Parent | Thread

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors

(no subject)

from: halfshellvenus
date: May. 8th, 2013 07:56 pm (UTC)
Link

A very nice poem for a very talented lady! I see much of her in this, and hadn't thought before how similar some of your situations are.

My favorite part was this, for so many reasons:

We sit at our pages and bleed.
Buccaneer pens razor-sharp, we slash the legend of our voyage
on our lovers’ hearts. Our boldness looks like bravery.


Not the least of which is my love of imagery and alliteration. :)

Reply | Thread

blahblahblah, whatever

(no subject)

from: kathrynrose
date: May. 10th, 2013 01:01 am (UTC)
Link

That's my favorite part as well.

Reply | Parent | Thread

(Deleted comment)

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 11th, 2013 07:42 pm (UTC)
Link

Now I have to find other times to use that tag :) So pleased that this is a net positive for you :)

Reply | Parent | Thread

Jessica

(no subject)

from: kf4vkp
date: May. 9th, 2013 08:27 pm (UTC)
Link

I really liked this!

Reply | Thread

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 11th, 2013 07:42 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you! I loved finding out that your username is your ham call sign :)

Reply | Parent | Thread

☾

(no subject)

from: witches
date: May. 9th, 2013 10:03 pm (UTC)
Link

This is beautiful! I especially love the last line; so touching <3

Reply | Thread

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 11th, 2013 07:42 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you!

Reply | Parent | Thread

Desiree

(no subject)

from: x_disturbed_x
date: May. 9th, 2013 10:45 pm (UTC)
Link

I'm not one for poetry but I really liked this. The imagery is amazing. :D

Reply | Thread

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 11th, 2013 07:43 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you! I'm not an all-the-time-poet, but it seemed right for her :)

Reply | Parent | Thread

favoritebean

(no subject)

from: favoritebean
date: May. 10th, 2013 04:52 am (UTC)
Link

So descriptive and rhythmic. I love this poetic introduction.

Reply | Thread

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 11th, 2013 07:43 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you! I'm glad the rhythm came through, I was working extra on that :)

Reply | Parent | Thread

lriG rorriM

(no subject)

from: lrig_rorrim
date: May. 10th, 2013 11:27 pm (UTC)
Link

The wordplay in this is both fantastic and fitting.

Reply | Thread

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 11th, 2013 07:43 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you :)

Reply | Parent | Thread

not anonymous

from: anonymous
date: May. 11th, 2013 03:01 pm (UTC)
Link

Allison,
Good work, no need to apologize to anyone. pretty deep and emotional. You are a very gifted person who has been a God-send to so many young people, especially Richard, or Frank if that is what you call him.
keep up the great work and come visit us in Texas again. Good luck this summer and keep writing.
In His Love,
Harvey Oaxaca, Richard's (Frank's) Dad

Reply | Thread

whipchick

Re: not anonymous

from: whipchick
date: May. 13th, 2013 06:49 pm (UTC)
Link

Harvey, I am so pleased and flattered that you take the time to come and read :) And I am always on Richard's team!! Love and hugs to you!

Reply | Parent | Thread

Following

from: anonymous
date: May. 11th, 2013 08:21 pm (UTC)
Link

Still one of your reading fans. Carry-on.

Reply | Thread

whipchick

Re: Following

from: whipchick
date: May. 13th, 2013 06:50 pm (UTC)
Link

Thanks :) Will try to write some good stuff this time around!

Reply | Parent | Thread

Jemima Pauler

(no subject)

from: jem0000000
date: May. 12th, 2013 04:37 am (UTC)
Link

This is lovely! :)

I'm glad you're playing this round.

Reply | Thread

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 13th, 2013 06:51 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you! I'm glad to be, too, and I'm glad you're here! (Even though I'll be guessing about your identities!)

Reply | Parent | Thread | Expand

MamaCheshire

(no subject)

from: cheshire23
date: May. 12th, 2013 04:47 pm (UTC)
Link

I just love the double-meaning set-up of "Yanks". That was awesome.

Reply | Thread

whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: May. 13th, 2013 06:51 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you! Had fun with that one :)

Reply | Parent | Thread