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How Many?

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Jul. 8th, 2013 | 03:08 pm

How many days in a row do you feel sad for no reason before you have to have a reason or else you're--shhhh--depressed?

How many questions do you ask yourself about what issues might be really bothering you before deciding that no, there isn't actually a reason?

How many hours do you work with a happy-face on until you just get over it?

How many times do you say, well, maybe I'm just scared about rejection and so not-finishing or self-sabotaging is easier, it's not like there's anything wrong?

How many irrational-anger moments do you get to write off as probably PMS?

How many things checked off on the list count as today was fine, you did a lot, stop whining?

What's the ratio of days-that-were-fine to hours-that-weren't that says, jesus, dumbass, do something about this already?

What's the ratio of batshit-crazy artists to perfectly-sane artists, and who made the best work?

That's what counts.

Start writing. Keep writing. Eventually you'll write to the answer. (Check that shit out.)

Write enough words and it just won't matter.

Good work is worth the price.


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Comments {4}


(no subject)

from: dabhug
date: Jul. 8th, 2013 08:52 pm (UTC)


Commiserating hugs to you.

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(no subject)

from: jensi08
date: Jul. 9th, 2013 02:49 am (UTC)

I love this. I recently went through a thing where I was pushing myself too much to write...to produce something that I could publish. I thought it over and decided I need to write for myself and my mind. I need to be happy with it and I wasn't doing it the way I was. I know how...organic it can be if I follow the right path.

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Stop. Breathe

from: drwex
date: Jul. 9th, 2013 03:57 pm (UTC)

Be better to yourself.. Misery is not a contest, nor even a solo race.

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(no subject)

from: n3m3sis43
date: Jul. 9th, 2013 04:38 pm (UTC)

I want to believe it's possible to be a little of both--batshit insane but also a little content. This is coming from the perspective of someone who let things get so bad I forgot why I loved my husband or who I was, so I could be a little biased. I'm glad I'm doing therapy, but I don't think I want to be "normal," either (no danger of that anytime soon).


I was thinking yesterday that I needed to email you. Maybe I will do that soon.

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