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Apr. 3rd, 2014 | 01:51 pm

1  Yea, and the LORD spake from the heavens, and he said,

2  Writer, thou hast talked the talk, and now thee must walk the walk.

3  Thou hast spake unto other artists, Quit thy day job, and yea, verily those artists did, and it was good.

4  Thou hast spake unto the world, No thing shall make thee creative like a deadline. No thing shall make thee productive like desperation. No thing shall make thy talent bloom as shall being forced to eat on the money from thy art.

5  And the LORD spoke of contingency plans, saying Yea, they are the refuge of pussies.

6  And the LORD spoke of irony, and referring to the post of three days ago, he said, all safety is an illusion. He said, it is not principle but ego that maketh thee turn away from this gift; and now, writer, thou must be humble.

7  And the LORD taketh away with one hand the job with the 30% pay cut that nevertheless included a plane ticket and an apartment even as he giveth with the other hand a kind and loving human being in whom the writer must now trust.

8  Pack thy bags, sayeth the LORD. Fly to the Middle East without a job, without your own living space, without a car. And though thy ego will say, writer, thou art unworthy, and writer, this must have a hidden price, there must be strings, thou must still trust. Thou must giveth what thy can, and yet take with both hands.

9  And the LORD laughed at the detailed plans of the writer even as he yanked them away, and said, There is only one plan, and that is the plan given unto thee by the LORD, which shall be clear to anyone who isn't a moron.

10  And the LORD added, now write, motherfucker, write.




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Comments {26}

Your Face

(no subject)

from: kandigurl
date: Apr. 3rd, 2014 06:06 pm (UTC)
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And the LORD spoke of contingency plans, saying Yea, they are the refuge of pussies.

This one's my favorite. :)

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whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 06:59 pm (UTC)
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Thanks :)

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shay_writes

(no subject)

from: shay_writes
date: Apr. 3rd, 2014 06:15 pm (UTC)
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"10 And the LORD added, now write, motherfucker, write."

I love it!

A friend recently made a motivational video about learning Irish with a metaphor about eating a whale with a spork. I set it as my notification message to remind me not to give up and keep writing.

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whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 06:59 pm (UTC)
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That's awesome!

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Jenn

(no subject)

from: kickthehobbit
date: Apr. 3rd, 2014 06:29 pm (UTC)
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oh, dang. lends credence to the joke that God is an iron.

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whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 06:59 pm (UTC)
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I haven't heard that one - what's the joke?

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Jenn

(no subject)

from: kickthehobbit
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 07:21 pm (UTC)
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It's a quote from a particularly terrible book by Spider Robinson...

"God is an iron," I said. "Did you know that?"

I turned to look at her and she was staring. She laughed experimentally, stopped when I failed to join in. "And I'm a pair of pants with a hole scorched through the ass?"

"If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron."

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Didn't want to be

(no subject)

from: anyonesghost
date: Apr. 3rd, 2014 07:15 pm (UTC)
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Yea verily, the LORD does not put up with the beating around of the bush, for a bush is the sort of thing what the LORD sets on fire.

(And I agree with the above, Line 5's my favorite, too!)

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whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 06:58 pm (UTC)
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Love that :) and thanks!!!

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elledanger

(no subject)

from: elledanger
date: Apr. 3rd, 2014 08:45 pm (UTC)
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Oh gosh - GOOD LUCK. Screw divine plans, carry on making your own. Having to reassess is totally legit and after a bit of readjustment you'll find a way to feel like you're standing on your own two feet.

Mostly through writing... so you know... get on it. ;)

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whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 06:53 pm (UTC)
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It's definitely an opportunity, and hopefully I'll sell a book! And some freelance pieces! And some travel articles! Augghhhhhhh!

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elledanger

(no subject)

from: elledanger
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 11:23 pm (UTC)
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Oooooooh - that all sounds really exciting! I'm keeping like... everything I can bend crossed for you right now - AND TRAVEL ARTICLES WILL BE SO COOL OMG!!!

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Ellakite

(no subject)

from: ellakite
date: Apr. 3rd, 2014 09:13 pm (UTC)
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"Life is what happens while you're making other planes. "

-- John Lennon


Fear and desperation may be great motivators... But I'm sorry they're motivating you so much, lately.

Be well.

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Laura, aka "Ro Arwen"

(no subject)

from: roina_arwen
date: Apr. 3rd, 2014 09:51 pm (UTC)
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Did John say that at the airport?

Inquiring minds want to know. ;)

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Ellakite

(no subject)

from: ellakite
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 01:01 am (UTC)
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Why would you possibly think that?

It's obvious that John said it at A BOEING MANUFACTURING PLANT!!!

useless Frampton spellchecker...

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whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 06:52 pm (UTC)
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Thanks :) I'm alternately terrified and overjoyed!

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Laura, aka "Ro Arwen"

(no subject)

from: roina_arwen
date: Apr. 3rd, 2014 09:51 pm (UTC)
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If you go to the Middle East and find a couple of large stone tablets in your path, just back away slowly!

Good luck!

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whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 06:51 pm (UTC)
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Thanks :) hey, it worked for Joseph Smith and L Ron Hubbard...

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unmowngrass

(no subject)

from: unmowngrass
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 01:06 am (UTC)
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Everything ok, sweetie?

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whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 06:51 pm (UTC)
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I am alternately overjoyed and terrified that I am about to become a writing housewife. Or a stay-at-home writer, as the case may be :)

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unmowngrass

(no subject)

from: unmowngrass
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 07:51 pm (UTC)
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:-) Good luck

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i_17bingo

(no subject)

from: i_17bingo
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 05:34 am (UTC)
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Oh, hey! I'm in Qatar! Go to the top of the Burj Khalifa and wave when you get to the Gulf, and I'll probably see you.

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whipchick

(no subject)

from: whipchick
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 06:50 pm (UTC)
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How cool! What are you doing there?

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i_17bingo

(no subject)

from: i_17bingo
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 07:08 pm (UTC)
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My patron and spouse works for the U.S. State Department as a librarian.

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drwex

A wise man once said

from: drwex
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 04:01 pm (UTC)
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Free yo ass and your mind will follow.

(for the record "He" should be capitalized. because i"m like that.)

Break a leg.

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whipchick

Re: A wise man once said

from: whipchick
date: Apr. 4th, 2014 06:49 pm (UTC)
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You know, I spent some time looking that up, and decides to go with King James capitalization, because to me that language says 'Bible.' There's no formal rule on it, and different editions do it different ways. It was fun to look up :)

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